Let’s first take a moment to define a mama bear. According to Urban Dictionary, a very reliable source, it is “A mom who can be cuddly and lovable but also has a ferocious side when it’s necessary to protect her cubs.”  I’m not sure I love the term because it kind of puts a heroic spin on mom’s going cray-cray.  But either way, I’ve had my fair share of those moments.  I’m usually very diplomatic in public, and then I vent all my frustrations to my husband, thus showing my mama bear side.

This particular incident, however, was full-on mama bear.  AKA crazy ghetto bitch.

Let me preface all this by saying that I have never been in a fight in my life.  I mean, I get in arguments, but fights?  No.  No, no, no.  That is not my style.  I’m laid back.  I let other people look like idiots.  This particular argument was seconds from turning into a full on fight.  Like if that woman wasn’t holding a baby, there would have been a fist thrown in somewhere.  We were face to face.  Like up in each others’ grills, shouting.  YELLING in front of all the children and other parents.  Pointing and waving of arms.  It still makes me cringe, to be honest with you.

What could have possibly brought this on???!!!  You ask.  I don’t know if the details are so important, but you know I will share some of them anyway…

Stevie was getting teased.  AGAIN.  This kid was going pretty far, pointing and laughing and making fun of his face, several times.  Yes, making fun OF HIS FACE.  TO HIS FACE. Of course Stevie was innocently smiling thinking they were having fun together.  I waited for the mom to say something, since we were sitting near each other and I know she saw what was going on.  But she didn’t (typical), so I went up to the boy and said “Hey buddy, Stevie looks a little different than you, but let’s not tease him ok?  That’s not very nice.”  He said okay, but about 20 minutes later, I caught him doing it again and again – as his mom sat there watching.  Granted, she had a baby with her, so I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she couldn’t get up and discipline at the moment. Fine.

But then I had the AUDACITY to remind this child not to tease, and she rushed up to me, baby in tow, and said “Hey lady, instead of just telling him not to tease, why don’t you explain WHY?  He’s only 5, he doesn’t understand!”

Oh, I’m supposed to explain to your kid why it’s not nice to tease??? Please!  I calmly told her that I was trying to explain.  I explained it twice so far.  She did not seem to like this.

Now, listen.  I get it.  It’s hard to watch other parents tell your kid what to do.  But I didn’t feel like I was being overbearing, just gently reminding the kids to all play nice.

But, things started getting loud after that.  I told her that I was trying to encourage her son to be nice since NOBODY ELSE WAS (oh snap) and she said “Then you should have come to me!”  I said “You knew exactly what was going on, and you didn’t say anything!  I have to stand up for my son, since he cannot stand up for himself.  Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your child be made fun of all the time??”

She said – get this:  “Yes, I do actually.  I have a cousin who has special needs.”

WELL EFF YOU LADY.

No, I didn’t say that.  I said “OK then you should know to teach your kids to be kind to those who are different!”

By this point, I was standing up and we were definitely yelling.  Back and forth.  Not totally listening to the other person, just trying to get our point across.  She interrupted every word I tried to get out.  I could see the dads leaning on the rail around the playground, eagerly awaiting what would come next.  And moms just turned awkwardly in the other direction.  In my head, I thought “Is this seriously happening right now??”

And it was.

After a heated exchange, I ended up walking away from the argument because clearly this woman was lacking sleep and had lost her damn mind.  But there are lots of things I wanted to say and maybe a few things I shouldn’t have.

As I left the playground, shaking, another mom said to me “You know, you’re not wrong.”  I nodded and said thank you.  Then I made it all the way to the bathroom before breaking down into tears.  I’m such a baby, I was so proud of myself for not crying in front of the other moms.

I have played this in my head over and over and I guess the moral of the story is this:  a simple caution to those with mean kids out there.  You will NEVER “win” by defending a child who is clearly doing wrong.  And you will sure as hell NEVER “win” against a special needs mom.  Because you have no freakin’ clue.  We have battled for our kids from day one.  In every aspect of their lives, including keeping them alive.  We will have to battle for God knows how long.  If you only knew what I had been through that day alone, you might have reminded your son to behave.  I have dedicated my life the last 3 years to giving this kid as normal of an upbringing as possible, and if your kid stands in the way, I will say something. I still don’t feel like I was crossing the line by reminding the kids to be nice. If the roles were reversed what what you have done?  Would you let your kid be teased?  NO.

So don’t mess.

Now all I want for Christmas is a Thug Life beanie.