My husband and I LOVE to sleep. We are not people who sleep all day or anything, but we both really know and appreciate the value of a good night’s sleep.
Since our little BFF Stevie came around, we have kissed those days of a good night’s sleep bye-bye. I think most parents know how that goes! At 10 months old, our little guy still usually wakes up twice a night for a little comfort, and I have learned to cope with that. I sometimes even enjoy bringing him in the bed and letting him crash out in between us. (Although, I do often think about how that it’s been MORE THAN A YEAR since I have had one full night of sleep.) But I try not to complain {too much} and my husband has been great about getting up with him in the morning to let me catch a few extra winks before he leaves for work.
Now, we anticipated that after his surgery, there would be a few rough days and nights as he recuperated. The cardiologist mentioned that he was suffering from a slight case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of the surgery. Isn’t that the saddest thing ever?? Poor baby!! So we got ready for some difficult times. And they came. Grumpy, grumpy days. Very needy baby. But it was nothing compared to what’s been going on the last 5 nights.
Friday was the first time this happened: Stephen went to sleep so late – at like 11pm. He was up at 1:30am and didn’t go back to sleep until 3:30am. Then he was up and ready for the day again at 6:30am.
The same thing happened Saturday and Sunday and Monday. We could no longer write it off as a fluke.
By Tuesday, we were exhausted and pretty dang frustrated. So I took it upon myself to cut out his afternoon nap. It was no fun keeping him awake, especially since I was so tired myself. But I just knew we would reap the rewards when he slept through the night.
Except that he didn’t. He didn’t sleep through the night. He was up at 3am and didn’t go back to sleep until almost 6am!!!!!! WHAT THE EFF?
The confusing part about it, is that he’ll wake up with a few tears, but then just mostly wants to play. It’s like he’s just had enough sleep. He’s not tired anymore. He rolls around and babbles and plays with his binky, as long as he’s in the bed with us. So we knew he wasn’t in pain or distress. But after about an hour of playing, he finally starts getting tired. This is when the dramatic show starts. He fights the sleep with all his might and kicks and cries and won’t settle down. We’ve had to wrestle with him 1 to 2 hours until he finally just wears out.
I can’t tell you how aggravating it was. No matter how much I told myself to stay calm and relaxed, my patience level was not at its strongest towards the end of the 3 hour fiasco. I longed for the days of getting up twice a night with him. And I found myself asking God why he was punishing us. Haven’t we been through enough??? CAN YOU PLEASE JUST HELP HIM SLEEP??? My husband and I start turning on each other because we couldn’t turn on the kid. We were both just at our wit’s end.
Today I walked around feeling like I was about 80 years old. And the husband demanded that something be done. We at least had to try.
So tonight we did something that I really never thought we’d do. A modified “Cry It Out” method. We put him in his own room for the first time and tried to get him to fall asleep on his own. My goal was to have him sleeping in his own room by the time he turned 1 anyway, so I guess now’s good, right? Well, he wailed and wailed. We checked on him every few minutes but our words of comfort didn’t seem to help him calm down much. And the “every few minutes” were the longest of my life! But after a 30 minute struggle, he was asleep.
In between checking on him, I was online reading about these methods and torturing myself with thoughts that he’s going to think we don’t love him, and he’s going to lose trust in us, and it’s going to desensitize us to his needs, and it will make his PTSD worse, and he’s not going to need me anymore. I mean the thoughts were going round and round.
I don’t know how he’ll do the rest of the night. Who knows? We may be up every 30 minutes with a wailing baby on our hands. But when you’re this close to the end of your rope, you’ll try the last resort you hoped you’d never have to.
Oh, my little heart-breaker.
Well, I’m going to bed! I’ll let you know how it turns out!
Oh how I feel you sista! My sleep deprivation has reached levels before kids I would have thought impossible. The CIO method is much harder on us than it is on them. Hang in there. My only advice is Diet Coke. Lots and lots of Diet Coke.
Sleep has always been an extremely interesting subject that I have never really had a chance to study in depth like I want to. To think that we spend 8 hours (ideally) of unconsciousness in exchange for double the amount to be awake is fascinating. Of course depending on a variety of daily factors (diet, activity, mood, how quickly one experiences REM sleep, etc.) those numbers fluctuate frequently. I’ve always believed we weren’t meant to have a concrete schedule—that everyone’s biological clock is different and should be handled accordingly. It’s no wonder how stressful the typical full-time employee is with their inflexible hours… Listen to me jabber. Good luck finding a bearable schedule!
yes, i want to know! i wish i would have stuck through this when i tried it…