I’m really wishing I was one of those people who couldn’t possibly eat when they were stressed out. But I’m the exact opposite.  Give me salties or sweets, I’ll put it away like it was my job.

Totally beside the point.  On to Stevie…

After Vision Therapy this morning, and a really rough Physical Therapy right after, we made our way to Children’s Hospital for an orthopedic appointment.

I was teary-eyed driving over – thinking about Stevie’s refusal to walk and how long this process is going to be.  He slept in the back seat looking as sweet as pie, and my heart was just feeling a little achy for him.  As someone who is responsible for his growth & development, I know we have to push him.  But as his mom, who just wants to hug & love him all day, I also know its really hard for him.  I’m trying really hard to find a balance between these two people that I’m supposed to be.  And for Stevie, it’s not just hard because he’s stubborn, its hard for reasons beyond his or my comprehension.  It’s all compounded by his sensory issues and he doesn’t understand why we are making him do things that clearly make him so uncomfortable.  And this is just the walking part!  There are lots and lots of other things to work on too.

When CHLA came into view and I made that familiar left turn on Sunset Blvd, I felt a wave of anxiety come over me.  I drove around the block once to get my bearings and slapped a smile on my face to go inside.

Being at CHLA usually brings up two emotions for me.

1) Anxiety and
2) Humility

The anxiety comes before we arrive.  Flashes of surgeries and waiting rooms and blood and needles and breathing machines come into my head.  I remember the tears and the awful things we have experienced there over the last year and a half.  There is always a slight sense of dread.  Almost as if we will walk in and learn that his health has all been a fluke and we will need to stay.  God forbid.

The humility comes as we start making our way to whatever doctor we are seeing.  It never fails.  I come across kids in wheelchairs, babies with facial deformities, teenagers who can’t walk or speak, and the parents.  Parents who carry their children – literally and figuratively.  They are tired.  They sometimes are in their pajamas from sleeping in the hospital.  Yet, they are almost always smiling, they always seem strong.

It overwhelms me.  And reminds me how blessed we are.

…and I’m way off topic.  More on parenting later.

Once we got inside, the appointment went pretty smooth.  They did some examinations and had Stevie practice standing so they could see the issues clearly.  The doc recommended leg braces like this:

This will just be the beginning.  These braces aren’t so much for walking as they are to help him stand independently, build his leg strength, and learn how to balance.  The braces will arrive in about 3 weeks and will be decorated with Superman images.  Here is Stevie getting a cast used for measurements:

It went really well at first… until it didn’t.  He got upset, but he got over it.

Can’t wait to see our little Forrest Gump in action.  Obviously, he will be the cutest baby in leg braces ever. Because that’s how he rolls.