I honestly wasn’t even sure this boring week was worthy of an update. While much of the country has been in winter turmoil, our days in sunny Southern California have been uneventful and predictable at best. And while normally, the monotony drives me bonkers, I can also recognize when boring is a good thing. We have certainly been the ones on the other side of disaster where it gets so hot that there are rolling blackouts, horrible wildfires, and we fear for people’s lives. Extreme weather can be so scary, only exacerbated by failed leadership. My thoughts have turned often to anyone dealing with difficult circumstances this week. I’m sure you are more than ready for that warmup heading your way, and I pray you are all safe and fed. Let’s hope this is the last historic event for a minute, eh? I think collectively we could all use a break!
If you are looking to help in what feels like a helpless time, here is a list of resources.
Going
When I realized a long weekend was coming our way for President’s Day, my first thought was yay! Then it quickly turned to aw crap! When there’s no schoolwork to keep us busy, it SHOULD be a nice break. But it presents challenges in adjusting Stevie’s schedule and keeping him occupied. Not to mention the challenges of getting back on track once the extended weekend is over. This past week was no exception and my back has been in knots with the stress of trying to keep Stevie happy. Impossible task! So as much as I appreciate the gesture of holidays and weekends… meh. Have to make the most of it.
We drove a little farther out than usual to kill extra time and went for a walk along breath-taking El Matador Beach. Once again I am floored that I’ve lived here almost my whole life and never stepped foot on this beach. It’s beautiful — like the type of beautiful that makes you think about the more existential parts of life. Stevie was obviously not as impressed as I was. He kept obsessing over dinner. At one point I got irritated with him and yelled, “Dude! Go run around and be a kid for a minute! This is supposed to be fun!” He humored me with 3-4 labored strides, then stopped and said “I can’t do it. It’s too hard to be a kid!” Of course I laughed and felt like maybe he really is my child after all.
During our visit, it was cold and relatively empty. So we got a great parking spot in the small lot. It cost $6 for a couple hours (even though we didn’t last that long) and $10 for the whole day. If you can’t find parking in the lot, you’ll be left to your own devices along PCH. Probably not a problem on a chilly day, but would be difficult once it warms up. And a heads up: very few masks (though plenty of room for distance) and no dogs allowed.
Shopping Addiction Tip
My own shopping impulse muscle was hard at work this week. Recently, I haven’t really felt pulled to buy much. And I wouldn’t say I was content… more like I hate everything on me and don’t know what my style is. I usually like to dig deep and figure that stuff out. But I’m tired. So instead of seeking all the answers, I’ve embraced many, many days of loungewear and low pressure dressing. However winter is short here in LA. Glorious but short. And eventually I started feeling a sort of panic that I wouldn’t get a chance to wear all my favorite cool-weather gear. That feeling has allowed me to slowly work through my closet and wear some of my old faves instead of online shopping and pining for the next thing.
But sometimes, a single glance at the right Pinterest board or shopping for a bra (which I actually need) and suddenly I want all the things! Shopping addiction is tricky that way. We can’t really quit because we all have to shop. Just like we have to eat. All we can do is manage our impulses. It gets easier as you build new habits, but I think its important to know that you will also flub up. And what you do next, after a flub-up, might be the most important part.
You certainly won’t wake up one day and say ok shopping addiction, over. It’s got ebb and flow and, like most things in life, requires practice. When I feel myself spinning and buying things only for instant gratification, I breathe and repeat the intention that my next choice can be my best choice. It’s never too late to hit the reset button. Making mistakes doesn’t mean we’re failing. It means we’re learning.
Eating
Let me tell you four specific reasons I choose not to be on a low-carb diet: potatoes, bread, pasta, and rice. I’ve tried to live without them, and finally determined nope. It’s not worth it. They just feel so good and warm in my belly and bring much happiness to my mouth. That being said, potatoes are probably the food I struggle cooking with the most. They sound so great in theory, but usually end up growing sprouts and going bad. I discovered this recipe just in the nick of time, before our last batch went yucky. Picadillo! So easy and so yummy. I didn’t have bell peppers on hand, but to give a little extra texture, I added peas and carrots and a can of Rotel. It was a great comfort-meal ready in under 30 minutes. With some extra broth, it would make a yummy soup too.
Remembering
Taking it all the way back to 2012 for this one: Stevie’s first snow day! He is so cute and squishy and his curly hair is just TDF. Yes, he really did cry the entire time, but when I look back at this post I am not even totally thinking about his experience. It sort of hit me that I am really proud of our younger selves. At this point in time, Paul and I had been parents for just over a year. And what a really hard year it was. Stevie’s heart surgeries, a million doctor appointments, unanswered questions, giving up and grieving all our parenting expectations, no sleep, and no end in sight. Yet somehow, we still mustered up the energy to have little adventures and make sure Stevie got to participate in new things. When you’re smack dab in the middle of it all, it’s so different than your view of the big picture after the fact. And I hope at some point, we will be able to look back on where we are now — living through a pandemic and distance learning and so much uncertainty — and be proud of our younger selves then too.
Unlearning
This article from Time shares a glimpse into understanding why violence against Asian-Americans is on the rise. Of course we can clearly see the connection between harmful words used by government leadership and the hatred. But the article addresses the issues with “model minority” and the fact that often Asian-American pain and trauma is erased or not taken seriously because of misguided classist beliefs. This week also presented the perfect opportunity to learn more about Japanese internment camps. Feb 19th marked 79 years since the signing of EO 9066. Learning history as a child, these events seemed so long ago. But now I see, it was the blink of an eye. The work towards equality is only beginning.
Hope your week ahead is everything you need it to be — even if that means it’s a little boring for a change!
loves,
jaana