IDENTIFY if the first step of The Four Shopping Rules.

Before we get into the nitty gritty of overcoming shopping addiction and cutting down on impulse spending, we have to start at home, in our closets. Get familiar with what’s going on in there. Start clearing out the items that no longer serve us. Start from scratch in away.

The reason I think it’s so important is because so often, when struggling with shopping addiction, we lose sight of what we actually own. We continue to convince ourselves that we need more, when the honest truth is we have plenty. More than plenty! And it just spirals as we pile shoe upon shoe, blouse upon blouse. So at the very base level, we simply must get in there!

The first step of #thefourshoppingrules is IDENTIFY. When we are starting out on this journey — and believe me, it’s a JOURNEY — we first have to identify that there’s a problem. Address that we want to change. Determine what our vices/triggers are. Deep down, we know this is likely an emotional filler for boredom, sadness, self-esteem issues, etc. But whatever the struggle is and however it comes up for you is important to know going forward.

At the peak of my shopping addiction, I was able to IDENTIFY that one specific trigger for me was jeans that were on sale. I owned 75 pair back in the day!! As we are identifying our triggers, we also need to come up with a plan. To start with the most basic of efforts, I knew I needed to stay away from sales and jeans. Sounds easy enough. But it was also just as easy for me to replace that trigger with another one — WELCOME SHOES!

So while physical triggers like sales are a little easier to identify than emotional triggers, you’ll need to dig deep and figure out the emotional part of it all sooner than later. Otherwise, you’ll never get to the root of the actual issue. You can’t begin to heal.

If I’m going deeper into my triggers, I have to start looking at WHY I’m shopping in the first place. For me, most of the time, it came down to my self-esteem issues. Of course, there was lots going on as a new mom, and a special needs one at that. That learning curve combined with my lack of confidence… and clothes seemed like the easiest and quickest pick-me-up. If I didn’t feel good, at least I could look good right?

There were also many times I caught myself shopping out of boredom. I once had a career and places I needed to be. But now, I just needed to stare at this baby all day long. Snoozefest. Haha! So when I felt antsy and needed to get out of the house, I’d stick that baby in a stroller and walk to the mall to shop, shop, shop. Sometimes EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

I truly didn’t know how I was going to stop it. The problem seemed so big and overwhelming. At the breaking point, I finally just had to make some kind of plan. And I decided to go for a year-long shopping diet. Quit cold-turkey. It was successful until the following year when I relapsed. I learned that I’m very good at a challenge, but once the challenge is over, it’s right back to the same old behaviors.

The good news was that I had started. I’d thought about it and decided to do better. When I started spiraling again, I could see the old patterns and stop myself with a new plan. And sometimes that’s all this is. Making plans, and making adjustments to those plans as we go along and see things we don’t like. We are learning to be aware of our impulses. We can’t really cure the problem, but we can learn to manage it in all sorts of ways.

Whatever your plan looks like is up to you. Whether this means having a conversation with your spouse, going on a spending freeze, participating in a style challenge, or finding an accountability partner. Things that will help slow you down. I highly recommend getting a freakin’ hobby, and I’m not kidding. I’ve learned a lot about gardening, sewing, and — most recently — cooking! Make a list of things you hope to accomplish or books you’d like to read, and when you feel the urge to shop, you can always refer back and find something else to do. Certainly not always as satisfying, but a good distraction, nonetheless.

As you go through your closet, can you IDENTIFY what some of your triggers are?

loves,
jaana